A birthday and no rapture?

OK, I said I was only going to highlight a couple of dates on the calendar, but…it is my birthday after all!

And apparently social media says there was supposed to be a rapture today. I guess I missed out. (If you believe in rapture theology, that’s fine. It wasn’t today.)

I always try to think of an item or idea of learning or reflection from the past year, when it comes time for my birthday. This year was no different, even though what has been on my mind is a bit of a blast from the past. This time around the sun I reflect back on one of my favourite books in my library, from one of my favourite authors. I have recommended and gifted this book a few times to ministers in training, those considering calling, and used it as part of a framework for ministry in a course I taught a lifetime ago.

This latest season of waiting and reflecting between churches has brought me back to Reaching Out, by Henri Nouwen. If you are not familiar with the reflective and deep work of Mr. Nouwen, I encourage you to take a moment and dive in. My first encounter with his work was in a counselling course where his book, The Return of the Prodigal Son, was one of the assigned texts. Since then I realised his books seemed to speak to me at different times, in different seasons, and for many different reasons. Reaching Out came to me later and caused me to reflect on the idea of how we orient ourselves for true communion with God and humanity, ultimately showing us as the subtitle says, “The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life.”

A simple read with profound impact. So, here on my birthday, let me gift you a few words on the 3 movements from Nouwen:

Reaching out to our innermost self

From loneliness to solitude

One of the key items I have worked through over the past number of years is what it means to be alone. Especially after many years of marriage. There are plenty of other posts I have written and conversations we have all had with individuals who have grieved or lamented their sudden ‘aloneness’. My first development has a divorcee was learning what it means to alone without being lonely.

“I don’t date the youth.” This was a shocking revelation from a youth worker during a time of sharing about how we all sought balance in personal life versus ministry work. She explained that as a single person she made a commitment to not seek out the ministry participants as a way to alleviate her own loneliness. Later I would come across Brene Brown’s words of a similar vein, paraphrased, it’s OK to feel lonely, and maybe I need to lean into it and feel it right now.

There is a place of solitude in the spiritual journey that does not seek the attention of others to constantly make me feel whole.

Reaching out to our fellow human beings

From hostility to hospitality

That sets the stage for the next movement, how I seek out the others in my world. From birth to the grave we are always seeking and learning ways to connect with those around us, from the immediate family to those we meet occasionally in public. There are a few shifts we go through as we develop as human beings, and not only as part of childhood; these shifts happen well into our retirement years.

Hostility, as is implied, speaks to seeing the other person as an ‘other’ to whom we are as individuals and the group we have chosen. Competition is the simplest comparison to make when we consider hostility. The other person easily becomes an object, an other, maybe even a threat. Hospitality, on the other hand, seeks the stranger. When the other is welcomed to the table, it becomes part of our practice to see them as a guest, and maybe, a friend.

As one priest once shared in a seminar on friendship, “It is very difficult to share a meal with someone and still see them as an enemy.”

Reaching out to our God

From illusion to prayer

As we get older this movement becomes more and more real. It seems easy to take our days for granted in our youth, but once youth begins to fade, so does that sentiment. We can continue to be youthful in our demeanour and attitude, but we slowly come to grips with the fact that we are ageing.

The illusion here is that we are immortal. We fight death at every turn, mentally, emotionally, physically, to the point where it impacts how we embrace every aspect of our living. That is living in the illusion though, seeing ourselves as independent from the Creator, somehow trying to become immortal by our own doing. This makes every day a crisis of existence, a scheming to live a little longer. Prayer is the alternative, the other direction to move.

As pilgrims on this earth we seek dependence on the author of life. All struggles become kingdom matters and we rely on him to guide and walk with us through them. We walk with others as fellow pilgrims, and cannot expect them to provide what only God can give. Prayer realigns us as “a community waiting for God.”

One of the things I love about Nouwen is his attention to the people of God walking together, humbly, seeking God in all things. Not a strategy, not a plan, not a scheming, simply refocusing and listening as we journey together. Reliance on the one who is teaching us to be secure in being who we are before him, extending welcome to another who is doing the same, and reflecting this relationship back to him.

Our wholeness comes realising he has made us whole, and when we come to this place, we stop expecting others to fill that void and make us whole.

There you have it, my birthday gift to you! I hope these reflections speak to you wherever you find yourself in this season.