50 and counting

I assumed I would have something very wise to share on my 50th birthday. Instead, this happened…

As I reflected on 50 years, I realized I had daydreamed about my own funeral. Yes, I know, that is more than a little cryptic, but I have a vivid imagination so it made sense to me. By the time I realized what I was doing, it occurred to me that I was just listening to various loved ones sharing, and I was able to hear them all. I guess you could say it wasn’t quite a funeral, more of a saying goodbye. In the actual moment, I felt quite emotional, and knew this was the wisdom a person normally seeks.

It was not something amazing I wrote, I didn’t save anyone from a burning building (yet), and I didn’t get a gold watch for staying at a business for a long time.

I don’t always remember the good stuff well. You can look back on past posts about anxiety and learning positive thought patterns to see more. So, I very quickly realized this was a special gift in the moment.

Feeling gratitude for the ability and the moments to give something good to those around me.

Right now, that’s it. Knowing that through all of my stumbling, moments I would like to take back, occasional about some stupidity, and every so often just being a downright a**hole, there were plenty of moments where I know God was active and people were impacted.

So, I’m grateful for 50 years. And looking back, I have to share this link to this blog post from a birthday party I interrupted a few years ago. It seemed to impact my thinking the same way:

Stories from another generation

To add a little more sugar to this birthday experience, here is an excerpt from my son’s radio program, wishing me a happy birthday! Yes, I love sentimental stuff like this 🙂