“Why did I feel uncomfortable about that decision?”
That was my internal dialogue at work in my bored mind as I entered the tired hours of my solo road trip, going to a conference I was excited to take part in. Tired mind, not just because of the hours on the highway or because I had put in a lot of work before departing. Being in a ‘middle’ space can be taxing as you look to what comes next, working on smaller contracts that each take special attention, and of course, worrying about what could come next…
That is always my concern. I want things to happen now…as soon as I think of them! But that is not how life works.
A tired mind can tend to overthink the things in life. Good or bad.
Have you ever noticed when you have too many things on the go, or your mind is being pulled in too many directions at once, even the smallest activities can seem huge? I got myself into a tired place of thinking recently and it showed.
…Deliberating too long on small decisions with minor outcomes.
…Getting into a worry loop, considering only the negative possibilities on items that are out of your control.
…Not living in the moment. Stressing about the future.
…Contemplating the motives of others in how they respond to you.
…And, of course, self doubt.
(You can click on the red words and read the post if you have not already)
Consider this a continuation of my post on things not working out. When things do not work, and it sits on your mind, it can lead to stress about what comes next. And whether your decisions are ‘good’ or not.
My filter for the negative thought patterns in a stressed mind:
So, I get into the funk, and my stress becomes a negative loop, which technically is called ‘catastrophizing’, and may not always recognize I am there. But when I do, there is a turning point. These are the questions I ask myself:
Is it a bad fit?
As I consider why a decision is sitting in the mental loop, I have to consider whether or not I do not feel it is something I am suited to do. I may need to review expectations and timing and discern whether my concerns are valid.
Do I not want it?
There is the possibility that I said yes, or am considering something, because I thought I ‘should’ go forward with it. But in reality, I do not want to take part. There does not need to be a lot of rationale, just discomfort with the decision. So, I question if that is the case, and maybe evaluate why I do not want it.
Do I deserve it?
Then there is the big one: Is this simply a matter of self-doubt? This can easily creep in if you are worrying and focusing on negative outcomes. Maybe it is not what I am allowed to have? Ask yourself if you are struggling with inferiority issues, and then comes the conversation about what brings your there.
The car ride improved dramatically as I pushed myself to answer these questions.
In 15 minutes I realized I had nothing to worry about. I was stressing about something that was not real, but it was playing off of tired nerves and former hurts.
We all need to call our thought processes on the carpet from time to time. I would love to hear about your internal conversations that help you get to a better place.