Do you have Grit or Quit?

At the end of the day there seems to be only 2 paths for whatever role you are in. Everything that comes with the choice builds in that chosen direction.

(If you would like to listen to the Freakonomics episode that connects with these thoughts, here you go: How to Succeed at Failing, pt. 3: Grit vs. Quit)

If you want another deep dive, where I talk about the idea of ‘fuel vs. friction’, take a look at my post on my daughter’s graduation: Graduation and the obstacles in life.

OK, back to the topic at hand… Do you choose grit or quit? Both are acceptable answers at the right time, and in the right circumstances. But problems arise when we confuse the time and the path to follow. In my last post I reminded us of the term ‘wishful thinking’, something that seems to befit people in church leadership especially, blurring the lines between grit and quit to a spiritual level. And when we bring something to this level, it can be seen as a decision of faith or faithlessness no matter what you choose.

The North American church experienced a number of types of loss during the global pandemic, hitting congregations on a variety of levels, to name a few:

• Harmony. The polarizing issues encountered over the last few years went from disagreement to discord to disconnect in a very short period of time.
• Numbers. The downturn in attendance, however you define it, started before the pandemic lockdowns, but it really hit a new level when restrictions were lifted.
• Vacancies. Pastoral and ministry staff, that is. There were a number who used this time to retire, others completely left ministry, and the reality has set in that there are not many waiting to fill those spots.

Grit and quit are chosen in all 3 of those categories, and many others as they arise. I am most intrigued by that last category when it comes to the choice of path, for a few reasons:

• It is seen as a spiritual calling by the group hiring.
• It is seen as part of the individual’s personal faith practice.
• It is envisioned as continuing based on the individual’s spiritual aptitude.
• The end of a term can be seen as part of the individual’s moral aptitude (or ineptitude).

The reality is that there really is no formula for when a person can show grit to continue, or believe it is the right time to quit. It is based so heavily on the feelings of the one making the decision and is solely an internal decision. We can learn from past stories and give advice on how each path is lived out, but how the person endeavours what is best, really is up to them. Once the feelings either way begin to externalize though, the dynamics within the group change:

Grit

• Renewed energy. A realized need to pursue whatever is missing in the role or group.
• ‘Stick-to-itiveness’. A dogged resilience and pursuit of getting certain items done or moving items forward.
• Winning Others Over. Bringing people into the mix to create energy.
• Time. Less boundaries, late nights, early mornings…in a negative sense, could be verging on burnout.

Quit

• Distancing. You become different parties, not part of a unified group.
• Manipulation. There can be instances of ‘politicking’ for a person to stay or go. Of course, this can be reversed as well.
• Quiet quitting. This is like distancing, but more pronounced in the actual activity of the role.
• Time. Restrictive time, lack of desire to be with the group, can also be a sign of burnout.

Grit and quit are always open options in ever scenario, and at any time. If enough individuals gather and feel the same, it can become a group sentiment. If you look over the lists above you will note that each one, and more detailed aspects you could discover along the way, could describe a congregational meeting, a view of how you will continue forward, conversations around coffee, in a small group, etc. etc.

Whether the feelings are solidified in the reality that follows, that is up to you. What does grit vs quit look like in your setting? How are you feeding the feelings?