Classic country tune! And you may be surprised by the title but I thought it quite an apropos way to end the decade.
Most of what I write is based on leadership. And leadership is based heavily in our sense of humanity. Messy. Broken. Confused. Tired. Humanness. That is called life. It goes with one of my main life mottos: Leadership Is For Everyone. LIFE. We are all placed in circumstances for a reason, even if we don’t understand what that reason is immediately.
As you may have noted in my past posts, the 2010’s were not my best decade. I struggled internally, found it difficult to live to the fullness of my identity, and broke down. Home, work, calling; all became a struggle. So I lost all of it. First my role, then my church, and finally my wife. I guess if we’re putting things in order I lost my mind in there somewhere.
It can be a very lonely place where everyone is done with you, and you cannot even stand to be with yourself.
And this is where the hardest work became reality. My true values, my sense of self, my understanding of a loving God, all took centre stage. Was I ok with being in my own skin? Everyday that identity is being transformed. Brick, by brick, by brick… And it started after the worst moments.
Eric had to be ok with Eric, even when Eric wasn’t ok.
That person, the one God placed in this situation at this time, to live this life, is intentional. Purposeful. Inspired. A work in progress. And he reminds himself of this reality when he gets himself out of bed, and before he gets back into it.
I often use this statement when defining what is important to people: It doesn’t come to bed with me in the evening. In other words, most things should not be allowed any more intimate space than they truly deserve. Unfortunately, most people allow all kinds of thoughts, worries, and misguided feelings into their bed to keep them up at night.
As hard as it is, I sleep alone.
So as we embark on the next decade, I say thank you for all the work the last decade did on me. I would not be who I am if it were not for the struggles I was blessed to endure. And I hope you are able to say the same.
As always, my work is on display through this website. Sign up for the blog to get regular updates. Check out the DOWNLOADS page to see resources I developed through some of tough times. Or CONTACT ME if I can be of some help in your journey in 2020.
Be blessed in the New Year!
4 thoughts on “Sleeping single in a double bed”
Hang in there Eric. Absolutely sorry about the decade!
Thanks Dan! It’s not to say there weren’t many good things as well, but boy were there plenty of ‘teachable moments’ 😁
Thanks for sharing the tough times. You’re still a guy I’m proud to know. You’re a good man.
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No problem Brian! Always hoping to help people grow through vulnerability 🙂